« Whacked » Josie Gordon

Death by family values. Lonnie Squires knows that if they’d warned her about this possibility in seminary, she’d remember. One little day of perfection — it hadn’t seemed like an impossible task. Scrub up Middelburg and keep it looking morally upright and conservatively righteous for just one day.

Called on by her bishop to pull off this simple feat, vice principal Lonnie Squires believes her experience with primary school kids and their parents has equipped her for the challenge. She plans to survive the summer with a Wentelteefje in one hand and an Olliebollen in the other, with plenty of time to spare for indulging her rabid devotion to soccer.

It’s not as if a girlfriend will be missing her. Politicos, parishioners and the general populace all want a piece of the action — and of her, if anything goes wrong. It’s just one little day where everyone pretends no one has any secrets. Lonnie discovers the inherent flaw in the idea when the journalist who planned to expose the hypocrisy of Family Values Day turns up dead.

With the swing of a shovel, Lonnie’s one little day turns into one big nightmare. What secrets would someone kill to protect? Is anyone who they seem to be? And, most of all, which upstanding Middelburg citizen now wants Lonnie dead as well?